Desmond Miles

(from here)

That's... uh, that's pretty crazy. I'm not sure what to say-- how the hell did he manage to stumble on this stuff?

Note: This post is for those I cheated out of a real mind run when the actual post happened. So, I'm redoing it with less brokenness. |D If you would like to play, you're welcome to! Just ping me and let me know. I'll share kittens with you, even!

You feel a sharp falling sensation, before the world seems to snap into focus. And by the world, I mean a forever extending world of gray. There is no ground, and there is no sky, just gray. Numbers are flying by, and you get the feeling that you're waiting for something to load.

There is another flash, and for a brief second, you feel like you might not even exist anymore, like you're becoming someone else. But when the flash dies down, you see you are still you and you can still control your movements.

The world before you is an expansive desert. In the distance, there are some buildings. In your immediate area, though, there is a well, and a strange blanket laid out near that.

So, apparently I am missing plot so this is the PERFECT TIME to announce that I need to hiatus... again.

"But Raina, you already hiatused for months on end! Girl, what are you doing?"

WELL, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I AM DOING. That was tech school, with lots of petty political bullshit. Surprise, I was so out of it I couldn't think, much less be a sarcastic asshole on the internet.

(see what i did there)

But now I am moving! For those of you who have moved, I'm sure you are either filled with excitement at the thought... or cringing in sympathy. I'm somewhere in between! But I can't promise activity from now until I get settled in in Cali. (NORCAL GUYS, HI. WE SHOULD VISIT SOMETIME.)

SO, DESMOND IS GOING TO HAVE ONE OF HIS LESS LUCID MONTHS. Shaun, Malik, don't let Cesare do whatever it is he does.

Stop Desmond from pretending to be Ezio or Altair. And he will reward you with margaritas or something when I come back. idk.

This is going down on Monday! My apologies. >>

Character: Desmond Miles
Series: Assassin’s Creed
Character Age: 25
Job: Resident Couch Potato
Canon: The story of the bitter rivalry between the Templars, who seek absolute obedience of the population, and the Assassins, who fight for free will, spans generations, with the Templars in the end having a hand over the Assassin’s. However, thanks to the actions of Desmond Miles’s Assassin ancestors, they haven’t won completely... yet. Unfortunately for Desmond, they’ve learned how to unlock memories via DNA, and despite his attempts to escape his Assassin heritage, he’s been pulled back in again, this time via kidnapping, and is forced to relive the memories of his ancestors. But it’s okay, he escapes eventually. Sort of.

Despite all of this, and Desmond’s background of being a normal person most of his life, he manages to not lose his mind. He starts off naturally freaked out by the occurrences around him, but quickly grows used to most of them. Though, to be fair, it’s hard to get used to people talking directly to him through his ancestor over 500 years ago. While not the brightest crayon in the box, he makes up for it with sarcastic humor that can keep up with the best of them. Besides, sometimes all you can do about a seemingly hopeless situation is to mock it. Or bother the others around you. But this is just because he has to endure their endless mocking about being a couch potato while he has to live his life watching his ancestors bone, which is a lot harder than it sounds.

Sample Post:

Look, maybe you get this a lot when people walk up to you, I’m not sure. And you know what? I’m not really going to judge. But you should probably get that skin condition checked out. I just say this because I’m pretty sure that gangrene is a bad thing to have, and it looks like you’ve got it in spades man. I’m a concerned random stranger, that’s all.

But speaking of concerned random strangers, do you happen to know where I am? I don’t want to think that I was drugged and dragged to some random place against my will, but it wouldn’t be the first time that that’s happened. The problem is... This place is really random. I’m looking for crop circles, man, and that’s probably not a good way to approach this whole thing. So, any help at all would be appreciated.

… Or not. I guess I could have started off by asking if he spoke English. Maybe do a little pantomime to make sure he got the message, though I’m not all that sure how to pantomime ‘I’m lost, you have things growing on you, and you could definitely use a shower.’ I know that different cultures believe different things about BO, but I’m sure even BO has a cultural limit. And that was definitely way past it.

Alright... Back to square one. At least I have the lovely scenery of lots and lots of corn to keep me distracted. I guess I can head towards the signs and the silos, since there’s bound to be someone there. Though whether or not they’re the kind of people I’d want to meet alone in a cornfield... Okay, bad train of thought. Anyway, signs. Signs are good.

‘Marcy Welcomes the New Counselors to Camp Fuck You Die’? More like Camp What the Hell Is That Thing, Fuck! So, maybe things growing on the locals is the last thing I need to worry about. Damn, that thing looks like it could reach out and touch you eight times at once. I don’t even want to think of what it survives off of... Or how it survives at all. ‘Marcy welcomes you.’ Hmm... Guess it has a name. ‘PS, Check you pockets.’ Hm. A mysterious letter placed in my pocket. The plot thickens-- instead of Templars kidnapping me and taking me to a hi-tech company, I’m kidnapped to a random country with lots of corn and a resident... octopus? Named Marcy with weirdly prophetic signs. All signs point to this being an awesome vacation spot.

Which it looks like my lucky day. Counseling people on how to do nothing at all... The couch potato counselor! Why am I not surprised? You know, believe it or not, living someone else’s life is really hard work.

Voted at here.